Ok, so there is something that I have to get off my mind. It’s about a certain person, whose name I shall keep disclosed. I feel like I am some kind of ghost every time I am around her. I can’t say one thing with out her making me feel like I am some kind of idiot. Sounds retarded I know but I can’t help but feel invisible. I try so hard to be nice and feel like I should say the right thing. I have to walk around on egg shells when I am around her. She is very anti-social and has a self confidence problem and depression problem. I know I should understand more where she is coming from and trust me I have tried my hardest to understand and say the right thing with out her taking what I say the wrong way. If I even happen to bring something up about her condition she automatically flips out and thinks I am saying something wrong about her or making fun of her which is not true at all. Everything I do around her I feel like I am catering to her every need. I have to do so much and it takes a lot just to make her happy. So I have been looking for a job since august and I finally got one at the place I use to work at, well instead of her being even the slightest bit happy she complains about it and just goes into this trance of, “oh well now I have to move back home and I am never going find a job, and oh poor me poor me”….I hate that so much. If she would get off her lazy butt and do something, go out there and contact the places she has applied to then maybe something will come up. Nothing great comes from just sitting around and wishing…unfortunately life doesn’t work that way…no one said life was fair…but we can make the best of what we have and try to make things right when they are wrong. Another thing I can’t stand is when she constantly puts herself down or others just to make her feel better about herself, or when her old friends try and talk to her and make plans with her but she shuts everyone away…what is she hiding from? Why is she scared of people and new things? I don’t understand and I dot know what to do to make it better because anything I do or say is wrong or makes her angry and she start yelling or throwing things at me. Something else that bothers me deeply about her is that she takes things out on other people. I mean I am going through my share of problems, I mean there is so much pain in my life with certain things I am trying to deal with but I am not taking them out anyone even the people who have caused this pain. I try to stay positive and move on. Pouting doesn’t do a darn thing, trust me I know. All I can do is move on from what I am going through and remember that there are still people out there that love and care about me, and I just wish that she could see that she can do the same thing if she would just give it a chance. I try talking to her about all this and expressing my feelings to her but she thinks I am dumb and weird for talking and sharing this with her. I don’t get it if I don’t talk about it with her it will never get better but anything I say to her she just gets more mad at me and it seems to get worse. She started to go to therapy for some of this but after 2 visits she decided it wasn’t for her. I am not sure what to do anymore. I really want to get away, I feel like I need a vacation from this. Ok well this is all that’s on my mind for now…so keep me in your prayers and that I can continue to have the patience to deal with this situation…

So, this is my first post....how exciting....well actrually this is my second xanga account....I know, I must be weird becasue I have two but there is a reason I do. Mainly its because a certain person I know found out I had it and there are certain things I cant say..so this one mainly will have to do with how I am feeling about certain things...my other one is more of a general whats going on and what I have been up too...